Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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