dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
