I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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