Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize