I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
