so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
