You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I need to calm my uterus...
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