yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
