i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
