There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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