This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
