Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
