Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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