i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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