I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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