I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
