How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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