i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
