I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
now i know why i became what i already was.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
