So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
