I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
