We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
