that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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