have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
