Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
