this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
