I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
