I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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