another moral hangover. fuck.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
