then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
