I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
