I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
