I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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