have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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