he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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