You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
