Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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