I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize