I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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