U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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