I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
