I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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