No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
