i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Green mimosas i think yes
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
