Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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