Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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