so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
