she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
