puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
