drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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