So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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