So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
