I don't think brook has ever known best
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
