He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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