Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
