He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
