Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
NoShamevember. You game?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize